So scared

Today has been one of the worst days I can remember, if not the worst. My grandma has been waiting to hear back from the doctor for a few days...she'd gone to the dermatologist because she had this sunspot thing that she wanted checked out. Just to be safe.

Turns out, it's melanoma. When the doctor called, I was downstairs putting dinner away. I stuck around to see what he had to say, and when she hung up the phone and started crying I just knew. I lost it. I'm still not really coherent; I've been walking around all night in a daze, and I keep starting to cry at the stupidest little things. I honestly just don't know how to handle this. My grandmother is the toughest person I know. She's never sick, she rarely has any form of health problems. She had cataract surgery in both eyes and after each one she was up like normal after a day. I simply can't comprehend her being really sick. It absolutely terrifies me.

I don't really know what's going on with it...she has to make an appointment sometime tomorrow to go into Pittsburgh for surgery. And they're going to check her out thoroughly so that they can remove any other spots they find. Best case scenario, they do that, cut out whatever, and that's mostly the end of it. Worst case...well I won't go there. I don't need to have another breakdown tonight.

I probably won't be around for a while. I'll be dealing with my mom to get gran to and from whatever she needs to do, plus work, and finals. I'll try to keep in touch, but I apologize in advance if I kind of drop off the face of the planet for a while...though I probably will respond to phone calls. So in the unlikely case anyone needs to reach me just try my phone.