Since it's been four months, I figured I'd spend a bit of time redoing this list. There are goals that should either be added, changed, or cut out completely.
First off, the ones I'm cutting off the list.
1. Do a book review for Jade's blog. Jade isn't even around much because she's so busy, and hasn't done a video in months. If she ever does get the site off the ground and starts keeping some sort of regular update schedule, I'll be more than happy to do a few reviews. But at the moment I don't see the point in spending the time recording and/or editing.
2. Nano 2008. I'm taking this one off until at least September. Even if I do spend time planning this year, I won't be doing it before then. There's no need to update every two weeks just to say that nothing has happened.
3. Update this blog, etc. I wanted to update this at least once a week. I've done at least that (with the exception of my job hunting hiatus). I've also been writing in my journal regularly. It's become enough of a habit that I don't really think it needs to be on the list anymore. As far as I'm concerned, this one can be considered completed. ^_^
4. Continue my education. This one is coming off, not because I don't plan to do it, but because I can't right now until I get situated financially. I've already done all of the research, all that's left is applying and actually going. As I start working and get the time and extra money, I will be applying to various schools. But it's another goal that doesn't need to be on here, just so that I can say every two weeks that nothing has happened because I'm broke.
The goals that are getting changed around a bit:
1. Finish my degree/get a job. This one is just going to be "get a job" from now on. I have a couple of classes left for my degree but I don't know when I can take them, only because I don't know when they're offered. No point in keeping this goal if they're not even available until next spring. As soon as I can take them I will, and then I'll finish my degree. Until then, a job is my priority.
2. Exercise 3 days a week. This one's getting bumped up to 5 for a while. If I continue to easily meet this goal for the next month or two, I'll cut it off the list as well. The point was to make regular exercise a habit for me. Once it's habit the reminder isn't really necessary, unless I decide to change the goal to fitting in longer workouts, or something like that.
Completely new goals:
1. Organize my stuff and get rid of unnecessary clutter. I need to go through all of my clothes and get rid of stuff that doesn't fit anymore or that I just won't wear. I also need to get rid of books; I have boxes of my mom's stuff and half of them I don't even want. Or already have my own copy of. Same goes for movies, games, random boxes of stuff, etc. I need to get myself organized. Once I get rid of what I don't need I'm going to rearrange what I have left.
That's the overall goal, but it'll change from update to update. I want to break it into manageable chunks. So...first I'll get the books done. I'll get together the books I don't want, and either put them on BookMooch or donate them to the library. I'll also sell what I can of my old textbooks and take the rest to the paper recycling place. Once I'm done with that I'll organize the books I have left. Pack some of the ones I don't read as often and store them, and rearrange my shelves.
I'd like to have that done by the next update, but since I'm posting this entry late, I'll give myself two updates if necessary (until May 23rd).
2. This one ties into the first, kind of. And to the goal I've had of finishing stuff, though it's a bit more specific. I want to get through the books, games, and DVDs that I've borrowed from friends. At the moment I have multiple shelves of borrowed stuff. A couple dozen books, about a dozen seasons of shows thanks to Chris, some movies, a handful of games. I'd like to return some of these things and free up that space.
This one is going to change from update to update too; I'm going to set specific things I want to get through. It might seem stupid, but having a tangible goal actually does help me. I'm aiming for May 23rd with this one too. I want to finish Buffy season 2, and all of the movies I've borrowed from people (there are only three). Also, I'll finish at least three of the borrowed books I have and really get into one of the games. Doesn't matter which.
Wow, those got rather complicated, but they're the only really specific goals I have and I needed to take some time outlining them for myself. Hopefully they work out.
And last, updates on the goals that are being carried over from the old list. I'm making some of them more specific so it's easier to measure my progress, but the overall goals aren't changing at all.
1. Finish my Nano novel. Getting there, slowly but surely. I've still got a long way to go, but I'm working on it regularly. Going to start trying to write at least 10 pages between updates, or edit 20 pages. That number will hopefully go up, but I want to start realistically.
2. Play the flute and piano. I've still been playing the flute. Aiming for twice a week for half an hour. Mom still hasn't gotten to me on the keyboard. I'll see her a few times over the next couple of weeks, between her birthday, my grandmother's birthday, and Mother's Day, so I'll bug her then.
3. Write every day. Nearly there on this one. Word wars would help probably, but even without having anyone to war with regularly, I've been doing well.
4. Let other people read my writing. Parts of my Nano are nearly ready for this I think. Not sure who to send it to though. I know I'm not going to post it here or on the forums or anything.
5. Read 104 books. I'm about 3/4 through this, I think. So I'll probably be able to cross this one off in the next few updates.
6. Take some trips. Should have the hotel booked for Otakon soon. Now I just need a way to pay for it. Still hoping to find a job soon so I can do that and still get out to visit Chris at some point.
7. Learn Japanese. I've been working on this but not getting as far as I'd like. For now I'm going to do one podcast per day (they're short so if I skip a day I should easily be able to make it up), and also practice the writing every day. That's probably about 20 minutes a day of work, which should be easy.
8. Physical therapy for my hand. I lost my stress ball, which is a problem. I've still been doing the exercises that don't use it though.
9. Time management. Slowly improving. It's taking longer than I'd like, and I have more off days than I'd like, but I'm making progress at least. This has been a problem for me for years, so it's going to be rough to get myself out of my old habits.
10. Start buying less stuff, and finish what I have lying around the house. I bought two books and got another through BookMooch. However, I finished a couple of games, and quite a few books and shows, so I'm still doing well on this one.
11. Learn Photoshop. Haven't done anything with this; I haven't had the time or the patience. I'm going to get through at least two tutorials by the next update.
Whew, this was long. No wonder it took me forever to get written. But hopefully I'll make even more progress on these now that I've reevaluated and reorganized what I want to do.
On another note, happy 21st birthday to my brother! Hope you had a great one, and damn your school for scheduling final exams the next day! ^_^
Friday, April 25, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
Goals Update 7
1. Finish my degree/get a job. I'm doing better with my lighter load of classes at least. I've also applied at a number of places, and I have a list of places to get through by next week. Hopefully something there pans out, and soon.
2. Continue my education. I'm still going to apply to schools for admission next spring, I think. I don't see any reason why I couldn't transfer and start taking classes regardless of whether I've finished an associates degree or not. At the very least I'll apply to the school where my mother works, as I wouldn't even have to pay an application fee.
3. Finish my Nano novel. Been working on both of them a bit lately. I'm hoping to get back into word wars to get even more work done. (Chris, I'm looking at you!)
4. Nano 2008. Still not worried about this, though the more I work on my older novels the more I feel like doing a sequel to one of them.
5. Play the flute and piano. Emailed my mom about the keyboard but haven't had an answer. I only got to it a couple of days ago so I'm sure she'll get back to me soon. Played my flute a bit more. I really need to get new music.
6. Write every day. I'm still doing fairly well with writing, though I think I'm going to try and make a habit of doing it at a certain time. I think I'll stick with it more that way, just like I've stuck with the workouts as long as I do them just before lunch. I just need to figure out a time that works.
7. Update this blog, etc. Obviously I haven't updated this, though I think I'm still close to my once a week goal regardless. Started the daily pages again too. I want to keep up with those if I can and get back to my journal.
8. Let other people read my writing. If I keep the pace I've had, I should have parts of both of my novels fixed up enough to let other people read. Possibly in the next month, or even sooner.
9. Exercise 3 days a week. Still easily doing 3-4 days. Going to aim for 4-5 days from now on. Once I get used to that I'll start adding some extra time to each workout. I'm also going to have to come up with new types of workouts so I don't get bored. Thankfully the weather is getting better so I'll be able to get into hiking and biking again, and then swimming once summer starts.
10. Read 104 books. This one is no issue. Hell, at the rate I'm going I'll finish double that by the end of the year.
11. Take some trips. Right now I'm only worrying about Otakon. Once I get a job and save for that, I'll try and fit in a few other trips. Still hoping to get to Philly sometime over the summer, but we'll see. I wouldn't mind getting to see a few other friends as well, but I'm not sure that any of them live close enough for that to be feasible.
12. Learn Japanese. I've been slacking on this the last couple of weeks. I need to get back to it while it's still fairly fresh in my mind, so I'll get back into the podcasts over the weekend.
13. Physical therapy for my hand. I can force my finger to bend completely, which is more than I've been able to do since I broke it. Getting better bending it on its own as well. I've been working on writing normally (with my finger actually bent instead of the funny way I learned to write right after I got the cast off) along with the regular therapy, which has seemed to help.
14. Time management. Still improving here, now that I'm not so busy. I would like to get a lot better with this though. To be honest, I think I'm doing better because I have to work around when I can take the car out to look for jobs, and not because I'm actually getting better at organizing myself. >_>
15. Start buying less stuff, and finish what I have lying around the house. I've been doing well with this. I've finished up quite a lot of half finished books and series that I've had sitting around for months. I've actually been spending free time doing these things instead of aimlessly surfing the Internet, and it's made a big difference.
16. Do a book review for Jade's blog. Okay, so I lied about having one done for this time. I'm going to try and get two or three out of the way this weekend if I'm not busy. Then I won't have to worry about it again for about awhile.
17. Learn Photoshop. I fiddled with this for a few hours the other night. I didn't make anything very good, but I managed to figure out some of the effects I could use, and how to do some basic functions. I found a site with a lot of tutorials that should help as well.
I actually have another goal or two I was going to add, but I don't think I will at this point. This damn list keeps getting longer and longer, and I'm not crossing anything off. At some point, I'm going to overhaul the list and take some goals off. Some of the things I've made habit enough that I don't really need this list to remind me, like updating this or working out. Others I can actually accomplish, like getting a job, getting in school applications, and doing those book reviews. Once I get rid of aat least some of what's on here now, I may consider adding new goals.
2. Continue my education. I'm still going to apply to schools for admission next spring, I think. I don't see any reason why I couldn't transfer and start taking classes regardless of whether I've finished an associates degree or not. At the very least I'll apply to the school where my mother works, as I wouldn't even have to pay an application fee.
3. Finish my Nano novel. Been working on both of them a bit lately. I'm hoping to get back into word wars to get even more work done. (Chris, I'm looking at you!)
4. Nano 2008. Still not worried about this, though the more I work on my older novels the more I feel like doing a sequel to one of them.
5. Play the flute and piano. Emailed my mom about the keyboard but haven't had an answer. I only got to it a couple of days ago so I'm sure she'll get back to me soon. Played my flute a bit more. I really need to get new music.
6. Write every day. I'm still doing fairly well with writing, though I think I'm going to try and make a habit of doing it at a certain time. I think I'll stick with it more that way, just like I've stuck with the workouts as long as I do them just before lunch. I just need to figure out a time that works.
7. Update this blog, etc. Obviously I haven't updated this, though I think I'm still close to my once a week goal regardless. Started the daily pages again too. I want to keep up with those if I can and get back to my journal.
8. Let other people read my writing. If I keep the pace I've had, I should have parts of both of my novels fixed up enough to let other people read. Possibly in the next month, or even sooner.
9. Exercise 3 days a week. Still easily doing 3-4 days. Going to aim for 4-5 days from now on. Once I get used to that I'll start adding some extra time to each workout. I'm also going to have to come up with new types of workouts so I don't get bored. Thankfully the weather is getting better so I'll be able to get into hiking and biking again, and then swimming once summer starts.
10. Read 104 books. This one is no issue. Hell, at the rate I'm going I'll finish double that by the end of the year.
11. Take some trips. Right now I'm only worrying about Otakon. Once I get a job and save for that, I'll try and fit in a few other trips. Still hoping to get to Philly sometime over the summer, but we'll see. I wouldn't mind getting to see a few other friends as well, but I'm not sure that any of them live close enough for that to be feasible.
12. Learn Japanese. I've been slacking on this the last couple of weeks. I need to get back to it while it's still fairly fresh in my mind, so I'll get back into the podcasts over the weekend.
13. Physical therapy for my hand. I can force my finger to bend completely, which is more than I've been able to do since I broke it. Getting better bending it on its own as well. I've been working on writing normally (with my finger actually bent instead of the funny way I learned to write right after I got the cast off) along with the regular therapy, which has seemed to help.
14. Time management. Still improving here, now that I'm not so busy. I would like to get a lot better with this though. To be honest, I think I'm doing better because I have to work around when I can take the car out to look for jobs, and not because I'm actually getting better at organizing myself. >_>
15. Start buying less stuff, and finish what I have lying around the house. I've been doing well with this. I've finished up quite a lot of half finished books and series that I've had sitting around for months. I've actually been spending free time doing these things instead of aimlessly surfing the Internet, and it's made a big difference.
16. Do a book review for Jade's blog. Okay, so I lied about having one done for this time. I'm going to try and get two or three out of the way this weekend if I'm not busy. Then I won't have to worry about it again for about awhile.
17. Learn Photoshop. I fiddled with this for a few hours the other night. I didn't make anything very good, but I managed to figure out some of the effects I could use, and how to do some basic functions. I found a site with a lot of tutorials that should help as well.
I actually have another goal or two I was going to add, but I don't think I will at this point. This damn list keeps getting longer and longer, and I'm not crossing anything off. At some point, I'm going to overhaul the list and take some goals off. Some of the things I've made habit enough that I don't really need this list to remind me, like updating this or working out. Others I can actually accomplish, like getting a job, getting in school applications, and doing those book reviews. Once I get rid of aat least some of what's on here now, I may consider adding new goals.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Hiatus
For personal reasons, I'm going to be taking a bit of a break from the internet. I have a number of issues that I need to take care of, and I need time to myself so that I can handle them. I know that's rather vague, but I'm not going into specifics on here.
You can all still reach me at my Yahoo email address, if you want or need anything. I might be on MSN on occasion as well, though I doubt I'll be chatting. I honestly won't be in front of the computer much. But if you leave me a message there I'll eventually get it.
I'm not sure if I'm going to continue to update this blog, which is one reason I'm making this entry (the other being that this is the easiest way to reach everyone). I'll probably do the goals updates when they roll around, but aside from that I'm not sure if/when I'll post anything else. It'll depend on my mood and if I have anything to say, I suppose.
Hopefully I'll get everything worked out in the next month or so, and then I'll be around regularly again. <3
You can all still reach me at my Yahoo email address, if you want or need anything. I might be on MSN on occasion as well, though I doubt I'll be chatting. I honestly won't be in front of the computer much. But if you leave me a message there I'll eventually get it.
I'm not sure if I'm going to continue to update this blog, which is one reason I'm making this entry (the other being that this is the easiest way to reach everyone). I'll probably do the goals updates when they roll around, but aside from that I'm not sure if/when I'll post anything else. It'll depend on my mood and if I have anything to say, I suppose.
Hopefully I'll get everything worked out in the next month or so, and then I'll be around regularly again. <3
Friday, March 28, 2008
Goals Update 6
1. Finish my degree/get a job. Well, I've withdrawn from two of my classes. I'm keeping the other two for now, though I will probably end up withdrawing from a third. We'll see. The focus now is on finding a job. Going to devote at least 3-4 hours a day to this during the week, and whatever I can do on weekends considering a lot of the places I'd apply to aren't open.
2. Continue my education. Might cut this one out entirely. I still plan to do it, but it's obviously not going to happen in 2008. Though I don't need my associates degree to transfer and start taking classes. Or even just apply to schools for the Spring 2009 semester. Hmm. I'll have to think about it.
3. Finish my Nano novel. I have been working on my first Nano novel again. I even did some word wars the other night. The girl I was warring with wants to start doing that a few times a week, so that'll keep me going.
4. Nano 2008. It's only March. >_>
5. Play the flute and piano. Ooops. Forgot to email my mom about the keyboard. Should have talked to her on Easter now that I think of it. But, I have to email her anyway about some books of hers I've finished, so I'll make sure and add that in. Played my flute a couple of times.
6. Write every day. I've been doing alright, but still not up to every day. Probably at least every 2-3 days right now. The word wars that I mentioned earlier will help, and Chris also mentioned wanting to war. Even if I only do a war or two, that'll be a big help getting me writing more regularly.
7. Update this blog, etc. Been doing well with the blog, though I feel all I do lately is bitch and moan. Haven't written in the others though. I will get back into the daily pages for my next update though.
8. Let other people read my writing. Nothing this time.
9. Exercise three days a week. Four times last week, five this week. It's finally a habit for the most part. Get up, do some things, work out before lunch. I want to keep that up if possible, and add some weights in.
10. Read 104 books. About halfway on this one, so I should have no troubles completing it.
11. Take some trips. Ireland is out. Can't really take a graduation trip if I don't graduate. Danielle and I might hit a convention in two weeks, though I'm not sure if that's considered a "trip." Otakon is still happening as of now. I'd like to fit a couple of others in as well if I can, though I'm not sure what. A trip to Philly perhaps, or maybe the beach for a long weekend if I can get a couple of friends together.
12. Learn Japanese. Working through some podcasts. This is something I'll probably devote more time to since I'm not quite as busy at the moment.
13. Physical therapy for my hand. One of these days I'll be able to move my damn finger normally. Still plugging away.
14. Time management. Now that I don't have insane amounts of things I need to get done, it's going slightly better. I'd like to get used to managing my schedule now, when I don't have as much to fit in it. That's probably a big part of why I was having so many troubles before.
15. Start buying less stuff, and finish what I have lying around the house. I have a bit more free time now. Going to try and finish whatever I can after I've done my job hunting and schoolwork for the day. Just because I don't have as much to do, I don't want to fall into a habit of lying about not doing anything.
16. Do a book review for Jade's vlog. Still haven't done this. I picked out a few books and started to do one for GRRM, but couldn't get it right. Dealing with my school stuff, I didn't have time to screw with it again. She hasn't even talked about doing another vlog yet, so I don't think it matters. Jade, if you're actually going to keep going, let me know and I'll have a book review for next week. If not this goal can be taken off the list entirely.
17. Learn to work Photoshop. I've had it for ages and never even used it. Just reinstalled it, and I want to learn the basics at least. I've found some tutorials online and I'll start going through them this week.
I'm hoping to make real progress on some of these over the next few weeks, while I have the time. Hopefully I'll get a job relatively soon, and then I'll have to reevaluate this list and probably take some of these off. I'll worry about that when I get to it. ^_^
2. Continue my education. Might cut this one out entirely. I still plan to do it, but it's obviously not going to happen in 2008. Though I don't need my associates degree to transfer and start taking classes. Or even just apply to schools for the Spring 2009 semester. Hmm. I'll have to think about it.
3. Finish my Nano novel. I have been working on my first Nano novel again. I even did some word wars the other night. The girl I was warring with wants to start doing that a few times a week, so that'll keep me going.
4. Nano 2008. It's only March. >_>
5. Play the flute and piano. Ooops. Forgot to email my mom about the keyboard. Should have talked to her on Easter now that I think of it. But, I have to email her anyway about some books of hers I've finished, so I'll make sure and add that in. Played my flute a couple of times.
6. Write every day. I've been doing alright, but still not up to every day. Probably at least every 2-3 days right now. The word wars that I mentioned earlier will help, and Chris also mentioned wanting to war. Even if I only do a war or two, that'll be a big help getting me writing more regularly.
7. Update this blog, etc. Been doing well with the blog, though I feel all I do lately is bitch and moan. Haven't written in the others though. I will get back into the daily pages for my next update though.
8. Let other people read my writing. Nothing this time.
9. Exercise three days a week. Four times last week, five this week. It's finally a habit for the most part. Get up, do some things, work out before lunch. I want to keep that up if possible, and add some weights in.
10. Read 104 books. About halfway on this one, so I should have no troubles completing it.
11. Take some trips. Ireland is out. Can't really take a graduation trip if I don't graduate. Danielle and I might hit a convention in two weeks, though I'm not sure if that's considered a "trip." Otakon is still happening as of now. I'd like to fit a couple of others in as well if I can, though I'm not sure what. A trip to Philly perhaps, or maybe the beach for a long weekend if I can get a couple of friends together.
12. Learn Japanese. Working through some podcasts. This is something I'll probably devote more time to since I'm not quite as busy at the moment.
13. Physical therapy for my hand. One of these days I'll be able to move my damn finger normally. Still plugging away.
14. Time management. Now that I don't have insane amounts of things I need to get done, it's going slightly better. I'd like to get used to managing my schedule now, when I don't have as much to fit in it. That's probably a big part of why I was having so many troubles before.
15. Start buying less stuff, and finish what I have lying around the house. I have a bit more free time now. Going to try and finish whatever I can after I've done my job hunting and schoolwork for the day. Just because I don't have as much to do, I don't want to fall into a habit of lying about not doing anything.
16. Do a book review for Jade's vlog. Still haven't done this. I picked out a few books and started to do one for GRRM, but couldn't get it right. Dealing with my school stuff, I didn't have time to screw with it again. She hasn't even talked about doing another vlog yet, so I don't think it matters. Jade, if you're actually going to keep going, let me know and I'll have a book review for next week. If not this goal can be taken off the list entirely.
17. Learn to work Photoshop. I've had it for ages and never even used it. Just reinstalled it, and I want to learn the basics at least. I've found some tutorials online and I'll start going through them this week.
I'm hoping to make real progress on some of these over the next few weeks, while I have the time. Hopefully I'll get a job relatively soon, and then I'll have to reevaluate this list and probably take some of these off. I'll worry about that when I get to it. ^_^
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Now what?
I know I just posted about the class situation, but I'm already running into problems. I'm so tired of this; I really don't know what I should do anymore.
First off, I tried to talk to my grandmother about withdrawing from classes. I don't know what reaction I expected. I knew she probably wouldn't agree, but I didn't think she'd actually be pissed off. Her whole thing is that the classes are paid for already. Yes, some of that was her money, which she'd given me to help finish my degree on time instead of having to wait. So I suppose she has a right to not be thrilled if it's for nothing.
But honestly, the money is more than likely going to be wasted either way. I can withdraw now and maybe get some of it back, or maybe not. Or I can struggle through the rest of the semester, get awful grades, screw up my transcripts, have to retake some or all of the classes, and still lose the damned money. And that sucks, and I feel bad about it. But all I've done is beat myself up over this and I just can't anymore. I have hard classes, and I have to teach them to myself. I got in over my head, and then I missed weeks of work because I was sick. If it hadn't been for that I probably would have been able to muddle my way through and come out on top, but not with all of that missed time.
Plus, if I stick with classes there is no way I can get a job for another two months or so. I would have to devote all of my time and energy to staying afloat in my classes. There's a very small chance I'd be able to pass all of them, so I'm not going to get my degree. Then in May, I'd have to start looking for a job, just as all the other college students become free for the summer. Or, I could drop some or all of my classes, start looking for a job now, and then hopefully get enough money saved up to make up a class or two during the summer.
I don't know. To me, there's really only one option that makes sense. I've agonized over it for a couple of weeks. I don't necessarily like it, but it seems to be the better plan.
Okay, talked to my gran some more. She's still not happy but she finally sees where I'm coming from. I think. Also, I agreed to just drop the two classes I'm really screwed in, for now. I might drop a third. Going to give it another week or so and see if it's possible for me to bring up my grade now that I don't have so much to worry about, and then make that decision. The fourth class I should be able to pass. I won't do great, but at least it'll be done.
Meanwhile, I'll keep looking for a job. Gran seemed pretty against that, surprisingly. She wants me to "finish something for once." Meaning school. Because clearly I tried to break my finger last spring, and decided to make my organs all mess up this spring. She was just like, "Well if it wasn't that it would have been something else." I'm sorry, what?
I've been dying to get back to work. I really do like school, always have. And I'm finishing, no matter what. I can't help that the very few classes I still need are only offered once a semester, if that. But I've been bored out of my mind and wanting to get back to work again, and start saving up some money. I'm not making excuses for not finishing now (okay I am but they're legitimate excuses). I'm just trying to salvage my grades, and then work while I finish my last few classes. Is there something wrong with that?
Oh well, whatever. To hell with her and anyone else who is going to be like that. I already feel bad enough myself about the entire situation. I've just recently started to accept that there wasn't really much I could do; I can't control the medical stuff, and I can't control when certain classes are offered. I need to accept that completely and move on, and do what I can from this point forward so that I can both get on my feet financially and finish my education.
We'll see how it goes.
First off, I tried to talk to my grandmother about withdrawing from classes. I don't know what reaction I expected. I knew she probably wouldn't agree, but I didn't think she'd actually be pissed off. Her whole thing is that the classes are paid for already. Yes, some of that was her money, which she'd given me to help finish my degree on time instead of having to wait. So I suppose she has a right to not be thrilled if it's for nothing.
But honestly, the money is more than likely going to be wasted either way. I can withdraw now and maybe get some of it back, or maybe not. Or I can struggle through the rest of the semester, get awful grades, screw up my transcripts, have to retake some or all of the classes, and still lose the damned money. And that sucks, and I feel bad about it. But all I've done is beat myself up over this and I just can't anymore. I have hard classes, and I have to teach them to myself. I got in over my head, and then I missed weeks of work because I was sick. If it hadn't been for that I probably would have been able to muddle my way through and come out on top, but not with all of that missed time.
Plus, if I stick with classes there is no way I can get a job for another two months or so. I would have to devote all of my time and energy to staying afloat in my classes. There's a very small chance I'd be able to pass all of them, so I'm not going to get my degree. Then in May, I'd have to start looking for a job, just as all the other college students become free for the summer. Or, I could drop some or all of my classes, start looking for a job now, and then hopefully get enough money saved up to make up a class or two during the summer.
I don't know. To me, there's really only one option that makes sense. I've agonized over it for a couple of weeks. I don't necessarily like it, but it seems to be the better plan.
Okay, talked to my gran some more. She's still not happy but she finally sees where I'm coming from. I think. Also, I agreed to just drop the two classes I'm really screwed in, for now. I might drop a third. Going to give it another week or so and see if it's possible for me to bring up my grade now that I don't have so much to worry about, and then make that decision. The fourth class I should be able to pass. I won't do great, but at least it'll be done.
Meanwhile, I'll keep looking for a job. Gran seemed pretty against that, surprisingly. She wants me to "finish something for once." Meaning school. Because clearly I tried to break my finger last spring, and decided to make my organs all mess up this spring. She was just like, "Well if it wasn't that it would have been something else." I'm sorry, what?
I've been dying to get back to work. I really do like school, always have. And I'm finishing, no matter what. I can't help that the very few classes I still need are only offered once a semester, if that. But I've been bored out of my mind and wanting to get back to work again, and start saving up some money. I'm not making excuses for not finishing now (okay I am but they're legitimate excuses). I'm just trying to salvage my grades, and then work while I finish my last few classes. Is there something wrong with that?
Oh well, whatever. To hell with her and anyone else who is going to be like that. I already feel bad enough myself about the entire situation. I've just recently started to accept that there wasn't really much I could do; I can't control the medical stuff, and I can't control when certain classes are offered. I need to accept that completely and move on, and do what I can from this point forward so that I can both get on my feet financially and finish my education.
We'll see how it goes.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Big Decisions
So, I decided to withdraw from classes today. It's probably one of the most difficult decisions I've had to make in a long time. I really wanted to graduate this semester. I'm already behind when I should have graduated due to medical problems, and I didn't want to push it back even more.
But in all honesty, it's probably for the best. I really do want to continue in school and get my Bachelor's degree. And if I finished out the semester I know my GPA would suffer. Having my grades drop like that and then applying for a transfer wouldn't look good at all. I was hoping to be able to bring my grades up, but it's not feasible. I'd have to get near perfect grades on everything for the rest of the semester.
Of course, there are a few problems with this plan too. I'm not going to be able to get my money back for this semester, unfortunately. I might be able to get a portion back though, since I'm withdrawing due to medical reasons. That would help a bit. I wouldn't care so much about the money, but I'm going to need it to pay for tuition when I do get to take these last classes I need (hopefully over summer and fall). But if I had a portion of the money back maybe I could pay for one or two of them. Then it wouldn't be so vital for me to have a lot of money saved over the next couple of months. And hopefully if I get through the classes in the next two semesters, I won't have to shell out for new textbooks either. I'm just praying taxes is offered in the summer, or I might have to try and just struggle through this semester.
Also, I now have to get a job. This is a worry for me. I'd really like to get something in accounting, but now I haven't finished the degree so I can't put it on my resume. It's fine if I make it to the interview phase. I can easily explain that I only have a few classes left, and that most of them aren't even relevant to accounting. And I can explain that the reason it's taken so long (and why I've been out of work) is because of medical issues, that are now fixed. My worry is that I'm not even going to get interviews. That the people will see that I took time off in order to go back for my degree...and then didn't even finish it, and just toss my resume/application right into the garbage.
I suppose I don't have to get something in accounting, or that I can get something entry level and then try and get promoted after I technically finish. The same worries still apply somewhat though. Many employers don't seem to look kindly on time taken off work.
Whatever happens, happens. I just hope that I can get something fairly soon, that's decent. I don't want to work some shit job in retail. I don't want to go back to telemarketing. Actually, I should give Jay a call. I seem to remember him saying that Enterprise hires for their accounting even if you don't have a degree, and that you just got more money for a degree. That might work. But then again, I also seem to remember him saying something like everyone in the company starts in sales. I can't do that. It's not something I'd like to do, plus I want to avoid commission at all costs. The economy sucks; I don't want my living to rely on my ability to sell people cars.
I've been working on my resume, and I'm going to come up with a list of places to apply for by the end of the week. I'm hoping to actually apply or drop off resumes at a few of them as well. Then, next week, the search is really on. I'm going to devote at least four hours a day to it. Either searching for stuff online, making calls, or driving around applying to places. Whatever it takes.
I should also go through and organize my clothes. I think i have enough nice work clothes to last me for a while at least, but I have to actually get them out and see. See what fits and if there's anything I need right away, or what can wait for a bit, etc. I don't think I have much when it comes to summer clothes. And I'm not sure if all of my clothes will still fit. I bought quite a lot of them a couple of years ago.
On an unrelated note, I got a letter today from the medical aid people. I don't quite understand it, to be honest. It's not the packet of stuff that I got last year; it's just this letter with some legal jargon that is rather confusing. However, if I read it right, I think that they're going to cover all medical expenses incurred from January 29th through February 8th. Which would include every medical bill I got for the surgery, hospital stay, and everything else. That would be wonderful. One less thing for me to worry about financially.
So, what I need to do now. Find a job, as soon as possible. Save up money for tuition for a class or two first thing, and then start putting some money aside for Otakon in August. Maybe I'll make another small trip or two, depending on how soon I get working, how well I'm paid (or not), and how many hours I manage to get. Even if the pay is crap, a full-time job should allow me to have at least some fun over the summer. Then save as much money as I can. First for a car, and then just so that I can move out.
Oh, and call the people tomorrow to see if I really have those medical benefits, before I make the assumption that I'm fine and then end up owing money to creditors. >_>
Anyway, I think that's enough for tonight. I've been babbling quite long enough. It might not be very interesting to anyone else, though I really needed to get my thoughts organized with everything that's been going on, and where I need to go from here. Once again, I promise I'll post something interesting soon.
But in all honesty, it's probably for the best. I really do want to continue in school and get my Bachelor's degree. And if I finished out the semester I know my GPA would suffer. Having my grades drop like that and then applying for a transfer wouldn't look good at all. I was hoping to be able to bring my grades up, but it's not feasible. I'd have to get near perfect grades on everything for the rest of the semester.
Of course, there are a few problems with this plan too. I'm not going to be able to get my money back for this semester, unfortunately. I might be able to get a portion back though, since I'm withdrawing due to medical reasons. That would help a bit. I wouldn't care so much about the money, but I'm going to need it to pay for tuition when I do get to take these last classes I need (hopefully over summer and fall). But if I had a portion of the money back maybe I could pay for one or two of them. Then it wouldn't be so vital for me to have a lot of money saved over the next couple of months. And hopefully if I get through the classes in the next two semesters, I won't have to shell out for new textbooks either. I'm just praying taxes is offered in the summer, or I might have to try and just struggle through this semester.
Also, I now have to get a job. This is a worry for me. I'd really like to get something in accounting, but now I haven't finished the degree so I can't put it on my resume. It's fine if I make it to the interview phase. I can easily explain that I only have a few classes left, and that most of them aren't even relevant to accounting. And I can explain that the reason it's taken so long (and why I've been out of work) is because of medical issues, that are now fixed. My worry is that I'm not even going to get interviews. That the people will see that I took time off in order to go back for my degree...and then didn't even finish it, and just toss my resume/application right into the garbage.
I suppose I don't have to get something in accounting, or that I can get something entry level and then try and get promoted after I technically finish. The same worries still apply somewhat though. Many employers don't seem to look kindly on time taken off work.
Whatever happens, happens. I just hope that I can get something fairly soon, that's decent. I don't want to work some shit job in retail. I don't want to go back to telemarketing. Actually, I should give Jay a call. I seem to remember him saying that Enterprise hires for their accounting even if you don't have a degree, and that you just got more money for a degree. That might work. But then again, I also seem to remember him saying something like everyone in the company starts in sales. I can't do that. It's not something I'd like to do, plus I want to avoid commission at all costs. The economy sucks; I don't want my living to rely on my ability to sell people cars.
I've been working on my resume, and I'm going to come up with a list of places to apply for by the end of the week. I'm hoping to actually apply or drop off resumes at a few of them as well. Then, next week, the search is really on. I'm going to devote at least four hours a day to it. Either searching for stuff online, making calls, or driving around applying to places. Whatever it takes.
I should also go through and organize my clothes. I think i have enough nice work clothes to last me for a while at least, but I have to actually get them out and see. See what fits and if there's anything I need right away, or what can wait for a bit, etc. I don't think I have much when it comes to summer clothes. And I'm not sure if all of my clothes will still fit. I bought quite a lot of them a couple of years ago.
On an unrelated note, I got a letter today from the medical aid people. I don't quite understand it, to be honest. It's not the packet of stuff that I got last year; it's just this letter with some legal jargon that is rather confusing. However, if I read it right, I think that they're going to cover all medical expenses incurred from January 29th through February 8th. Which would include every medical bill I got for the surgery, hospital stay, and everything else. That would be wonderful. One less thing for me to worry about financially.
So, what I need to do now. Find a job, as soon as possible. Save up money for tuition for a class or two first thing, and then start putting some money aside for Otakon in August. Maybe I'll make another small trip or two, depending on how soon I get working, how well I'm paid (or not), and how many hours I manage to get. Even if the pay is crap, a full-time job should allow me to have at least some fun over the summer. Then save as much money as I can. First for a car, and then just so that I can move out.
Oh, and call the people tomorrow to see if I really have those medical benefits, before I make the assumption that I'm fine and then end up owing money to creditors. >_>
Anyway, I think that's enough for tonight. I've been babbling quite long enough. It might not be very interesting to anyone else, though I really needed to get my thoughts organized with everything that's been going on, and where I need to go from here. Once again, I promise I'll post something interesting soon.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
St. Patty's Day and a boring week
Wow, it's already been over a week since I last updated. I don't know where the time went, honestly.
Saint Patrick's Day was last weekend. We went out Sunday night instead of Monday, because of people's work schedules. Danielle and I met Karrisa, Karen, and Lisa at Tom's to start. After a couple of drinks and a few games of darts, we walked up the street to Callahan's. We lost Karen and Lisa somehow. At Callahan's I got myself my first green beer ever. Then we settled in to listen to a lot of bad karaoke.
It was surprisingly fun. I've never gone to karaoke before, except to a couple of actual tournaments. And I'm definitely not one to sing in public. But since it was St. Patty's Day everyone was plastered and just having fun. I wasn't sure whether I would sing, but I was considering it. Then Karrisa gets up to sing, and damn is she good. I wasn't going to get up at all after that, but she forced me to. We did "Love Shack" with some random drunk guy, and then "I Love Rock and Roll" just after that. I was mortified. Though I didn't know anyone and will never see them again probably, so I suppose it wasn't too bad. Plus I couldn't hear myself so I don't know how horrible I sounded. Haha. We left shortly after that, and as Tom's was closed, decided to call it a night.
I didn't do much of anything during the week. I just got some work done, and relaxed at home. Tried to figure out where in the hell my life is going, with little success. Worked on my resume and started looking for other jobs besides the inn one I've already mentioned in other entries.
Friday I decided to actually go out. I figured I needed to get out of the house at least once, especially since I'd have to deal with my family over the holiday. Danielle and I went to Tom's, and Karrisa eventually made it there. We played a game of darts, but none of us were very lively, and all of us were pretty broke. After a while Karrisa and I went to a different bar. I don't have a clue what it was called honestly, it's rather far away. We ended up having a lot more fun there. Karrisa knew some of the people there and it was just more lively, whereas Tom's had been full of a bunch of drunk weirdos. We stayed until closing, and then I didn't get home until after 3. I was tired as hell today, but I had fun so it was worth it.
I know this entry was rather boring, but I didn't really have anything to talk about. I haven't been doing much, and I've been in a bit of an odd mood with everything that's going on in my personal life. I'll have a more substantial post sometime soon.
Saint Patrick's Day was last weekend. We went out Sunday night instead of Monday, because of people's work schedules. Danielle and I met Karrisa, Karen, and Lisa at Tom's to start. After a couple of drinks and a few games of darts, we walked up the street to Callahan's. We lost Karen and Lisa somehow. At Callahan's I got myself my first green beer ever. Then we settled in to listen to a lot of bad karaoke.
It was surprisingly fun. I've never gone to karaoke before, except to a couple of actual tournaments. And I'm definitely not one to sing in public. But since it was St. Patty's Day everyone was plastered and just having fun. I wasn't sure whether I would sing, but I was considering it. Then Karrisa gets up to sing, and damn is she good. I wasn't going to get up at all after that, but she forced me to. We did "Love Shack" with some random drunk guy, and then "I Love Rock and Roll" just after that. I was mortified. Though I didn't know anyone and will never see them again probably, so I suppose it wasn't too bad. Plus I couldn't hear myself so I don't know how horrible I sounded. Haha. We left shortly after that, and as Tom's was closed, decided to call it a night.
I didn't do much of anything during the week. I just got some work done, and relaxed at home. Tried to figure out where in the hell my life is going, with little success. Worked on my resume and started looking for other jobs besides the inn one I've already mentioned in other entries.
Friday I decided to actually go out. I figured I needed to get out of the house at least once, especially since I'd have to deal with my family over the holiday. Danielle and I went to Tom's, and Karrisa eventually made it there. We played a game of darts, but none of us were very lively, and all of us were pretty broke. After a while Karrisa and I went to a different bar. I don't have a clue what it was called honestly, it's rather far away. We ended up having a lot more fun there. Karrisa knew some of the people there and it was just more lively, whereas Tom's had been full of a bunch of drunk weirdos. We stayed until closing, and then I didn't get home until after 3. I was tired as hell today, but I had fun so it was worth it.
I know this entry was rather boring, but I didn't really have anything to talk about. I haven't been doing much, and I've been in a bit of an odd mood with everything that's going on in my personal life. I'll have a more substantial post sometime soon.
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